Some may think that fantasies of a Jewish takeover were somewhat a Cypriot specialty. Wrong. On our tiny, half-island, we often give ourselves way too much credit.
The old lie behind two millennia of mass atrocities against Jews is no longer the preserve of the ignorant. It is also a weapon for the half-educated and those who reject knowledge and reason.
Chemtrail and vaccine-microchip theorists, once laughed out of polite company, now hold seats in parliament, and people treat th them as anything else but the halfwits they really are.
Nothing, though, rivals antisemitism: the world’s oldest paranoia. It would be funny if it were not so dangerous and tragic.
At the latest congress of AKEL, Cyprus’s communist party, its general secretary, Stefanos Stefanou, warned of “ghettos”, “Zionist schools and synagogues” and Israel’s “targeted expansion policy” in Cyprus.
His evidence? Jewish schools and synagogues. Say the same about mosques, Russian schools or churches—let alone Cyprus’s Russian party—and AKEL would burn you at the stake as a racist. Jews are not the target market you see; Palestine sells better politically.
A “progressive” achievement.
Still, competition is fierce. Some recent contenders:
Mexico: Six Israeli companies exhibited at an agricultural fair in Yucatán in October, showcasing their country’s world-renowned drip-irrigation technology, which turned Israel’s deserts into farmland. Mass protests against Israel’s “silent colonization” continue across several regions. “Mexico,” the protesters say, “could be the next Gaza.”
Such towering intellects can surely explain how a “Zionist” sprinkler in Guadalajara could conquer Mexico. One jalapeño seed at a time.
Thailand: Supposedly, 30,000 Israelis had taken over the tourist town of Pai, creating their own “Promised Land”—a sacred Jewish concept shared with Christianity through the Old Testament. Its reinvention should have outraged Jews and Christians alike. Alas.
The Thai prime minister herself intervened: the figure covered a year’s tourist arrivals across the wider province. The tourists came and went. Grilled-scorpion stalls and ladyboy bars are bracing themselves for next season
As for the Messiah’s arrival, we may be heading for extra time.
Tunisia: “Activists”—a label broad enough to include insecure, self-absorbed adults whose parents, understandably, found them tedious—claimed Israelis were buying hundreds of properties on Djerba to change its demographics ahead of annexation.
Evidence? Oh, you have to be kidding me. Tunisia does not even recognise Israel. Even UNESCO’s recognition of Djerba, given the island’s Jewish heritage, became a “Zionist plot”. The community dates back to 70 BC. Yes BC.
On the other hand, you cannot rush a proper invasion, can you?
Argentina: The old antisemitic “Plan Andinia” conspiracy imagines a second Israel in Patagonia—so Dromolaxia in Cyprus can finally breathe again. Israelis were accused of starting this year’s major wildfires to buy up the burnt land cheaply. An AI-generated video even had Mel Gibson saying so. Luckily, it was debunked before winter—and before the penguins could be unmasked and massacred as Mossad agents.
Morocco: Footage of villagers clashing with police went viral across the Arab world, supposedly showing resistance to Jews grabbing land.
They were protesting over road construction.
Ukraine: This year, footage showing thousands of Hasidic Jews making their annual pilgrimage to Rabbi Nachman’s grave in Uman was presented as the advance guard of a new Jewish state. A war zone is after all the best place to build a state and raise your kids.
Sri Lanka: Israeli tourists and a few beach restaurants with Hebrew menus in Arugam Bay apparently amounted to an “occupation” attempt. An army marches on its stomach, after all.
And the list goes on and on.
Antisemitism recycles its old delusions for new places and new headlines, usually using the same kind of idiots and fanatics.
Countries, characters, and plots change. The conspiracy never does. As for the collective IQ of the lot, it either stays where it is or sinks even lower. It certainly never rises.
Meanwhile, people blithely entertain fantasies of Jewish world domination as Qatari-funded Islamist darkness spreads through the West, synagogues burn, and Jews are murdered and beaten.
Since October 7, antisemitic incidents have risen by 136%, to 23,000 in the past three years. Much of the media remains obsessed with Israel while the world burns. As for reason, that went up in smoke long ago.
Meanwhile, as conspiracy theorists busy themselves uncovering imaginary Jewish plots, there is one rather more interesting statistic they might want to consider.
Of roughly 990 Nobel laureates since 1901, some 230 — nearly a quarter — have been Jewish or of Jewish descent. Jews make up just 0.2% of humanity. And before anyone cries conspiracy, Israel’s relations with Sweden and Norway have hardly been a love affair.
Jews do not consider themselves smarter. Nor are they.
Even small minds can grasp what “Chosen People” actually means—also from the Old Testament, remember?—with just a little effort.
Anyone with minimal historical knowledge and common sense can see why a people perpetually treated as outsiders and convenient scapegoats, especially in the Christian world, has had to work countless times harder.
That ethos runs deep in the Jewish tradition of rational thought.
Jews usually also help one another rather than tear one another down out of envy. Food for thought, maybe?
Every sane, serious, committed democrat has a duty to defend civilisation against antisemitism’s racist paranoia and the monstrous absurdities of our age. Common sense demands the same.
