President Nikos Christodoulides stuck the knife in yesterday. “Some people didn’t want the Republic of Cyprus to be there,” he said. He was obviously referring to the sultan in Ankara—who was ultimately forced to stew in his own juice. But that barb hits a few people at home too, those who rushed to downplay the whole thing. Forgetting that even opposition has its limits. Limits that stop where our country’s interests begin. But that bit about the six proposals he tabled at the Summit on Gaza—covering security, reconstruction, and humanitarian aid—what on earth was the President thinking?
Everyone at the Summit heard it, and reactions varied: some were “thrilled,” others were “terrified,” and still others started digging. The first lot (the “thrilled” ones) were the innocents of the affair. Those who thought that, given our proximity, Cyprus’s offer seemed perfectly sensible.
The second lot (the “terrified” ones) are those who know about the truly awesome—in the literal sense—track record the Republic of Cyprus has been racking up for decades when it comes to delivering infrastructure projects. But they don’t particularly concern us either. The ones who really matter are the third lot. The ones who immediately—the unscrupulous sods—started digging into it.
Where would the unscrupulous begin? With domestic projects currently underway. And they didn’t have to dig far to find the thread. A quick glance at the media is enough to spot them. It’s as if the godless wretches struck gold on their first swing. The Vasilikos terminal. They gathered the facts. Started in 2019. Was supposed to be delivered in 2022. Got stuck halfway. No one knows when it’ll be finished. So far, €250 million gone. By the time it’s done, it could rocket to €400 million. Maybe more.
They saw all this and the smiles vanished from their faces. Still, they said, fine, everyone has the odd failure. There were Chinese involved too… They kept digging. Larnaca port and marina. A mammoth project worth €1.2 billion. The keys were handed over on 1st April 2022, supposed to be finished in two years. As if it were an April Fool’s joke, though. It never started. Cancelled.
The foreigners who’d come to investigate the Republic’s capabilities and capacities started frowning. They took a deep breath, though, and decided to give us one more chance. What were they thinking? They spotted the Paphos–Polis Chrysochous road construction. The road was designed 20 years ago. Started in 2022. Expected to be completed in 2030–32, if all goes well…
Their faces darkened. But one of those digging into the Republic’s infrastructure projects noticed that all three of the aforementioned projects involved foreign companies. The state bears responsibility for failed agreements but, however you slice it, since it was foreigners who took on the projects…
So next up came various purely… Cypriot-made projects: the Liopetri River works, the new Archaeological Museum (a €144 million project), the new Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Makarios Hospital, the Limassol–Saittas road, and… and… and… Everywhere, delays upon delays…
The foreigners had had enough. They chucked the proposal in the nearest bin and scarpered. I don’t know exactly what Nikos Christodoulides’s proposal to Ursula, Trump, and the rest actually contained. But the research done by these foreigners is surely enough to make them pass on it. Especially the Palestinians, who are desperate for Gaza’s reconstruction. Because at Cypriot speeds, they might be waiting a century…
Before we start tabling proposals abroad at this level, let’s make sure we can finish one decent project on time at home. Just so we’ve got something to show for ourselves, if nothing else…
P.S.: The foreigners’ research is fictional, for the sake of argument. The facts, however, are absolutely real. And they sting!
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